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caranfindel: (Default)
Sam, I know everyone is taking this day to talk about how brave you are, how kind, how compassionate, how strong, how smart, how thoughtful. And all of these things are true. But I'm here to talk about something else.

Read more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
(No new episode to discuss, wah!)

So, I think my muse has died. I'm signed up for two big bangs right now and I'm definitely going to have to drop out of one and most likely the other as well, because every time I open a document I re-read what I have and spend half an hour making minuscule changes to what I've already written and then I'm done. I'm dried up.

But Tumblr put me in a meta kind of mood today, when someone commented that we know Sam takes his coffee black because that's how he orders it in 7.07, "The Mentalists," and someone else mentioned that he doesn't take it black any other time.




(expanded from my Tumblr post)

Okay but this is when he’s separated from Dean, and he keeps telling himself it’s a good thing, it was the right decision, Dean killed Amy, for fuck’s sake, and lied about it and he had to hear it from a fucking leviathan and he just can’t look at the guy right now, can’t even think about him without feeling his blood pressure spike and being swept away on a surging wave of anger; it’s the right decision, he knows it’s the right decision.

And yet, on the other hand, he can’t stand it, is constantly worrying about Dean, wants to know if he’s okay, because what if something happens to him because Sam doesn’t have his back, it’ll just be one more person who was hurt or killed because of him, and Cas isn’t going to save him now, and Bobby’s not there to back him up, and beyond the worrying, he finds it difficult to sleep without the sound of Dean breathing in the bed next to his, wakes up in a cold panic when he does manage to doze off, slips into a downward spiral of worry and despair and no, he’s not sleeping much at all.

And what about Jacob, what about the child Amy was so desperate to protect, he doesn't know if Dean killed him too (is ashamed he didn't think to ask), because if he didn't, that means Jacob is alive and alone out there, and Sam should try to find him, try to help him (although he's afraid Jacob would end up as another entry on the list of those who died because Sam Winchester crossed their paths) but if he did, if Dean killed the kid, it means his whole she kills people, Sam excuse is a bunch of bullshit because Jacob didn't kill anybody.

(But the worst part is that Lucifer knows now, and he's never going to stop gloating about it.)

So, yeah, black coffee with an extra shot. That's what Sam's having today.

(Years from now, he'll find out about Magda, what the BMoL did to the sweet psychic girl he thought he'd saved, and Dean will be furious, will be spitting fire, will rage that the BMoL had no right to kill someone who wasn't going to hurt anyone, had no right to override their decision, should not have killed someone so safe and harmless, and Sam will relive this pain, will avoid catching his brother's eye, will bite back the urge to confess this is bringing up some old shit that I thought I'd forgotten because he doesn't know which would be worse - if Dean remembers, or if he doesn't.)
caranfindel: (Default)
I've been thinking a lot about Mary's actions this season, particularly in 12.12. I came down pretty hard on her, but some Tumblr conversations have got me rethinking things.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Guys, I've had a horrible thought.


(No, it doesn't involve Dean and Sam and a hammer. That wouldn't be horrible at all.)


(Mildly spoilery for aired episodes only)
keep reading )

caranfindel: (Default)
Very very mildly spoilery for 11.12:


Read more... )


Also, for those of you in the US, TNT is having a season 10 marathon today (counterprogramming against the Super Bowl, one can only assume). But they're skipping Soul Survivor. And they're also skipping that vampire sister episode, which is fine, but they're showing 10.01, 10.02, and then 10.05 (Fan Fiction), and why? Of all the episodes to skip from S10, how could you pick Soul Survivor?


I mean, really




how in the hell




could you




skip this one?




Now I'm going to have hammers on the brain again for a long, long time. God help us all.

caranfindel: (Default)
Some thinky thoughts about "Into the Mystic."


Read more... )


Or was this all just an excuse to post more Winchester picspam?


What do you think?

caranfindel: (Default)
Things that I've noticed while re-watching Dean and Sam's reunion scene in Reichenbach... six things that may be true.


1. Demon!Dean's speech patterns and inflection are different from Dean's. The tilt of his head, the lilt of his voice, are very Not!Dean. Lighter. Maybe being Not!Dean is lighter than being Dean. All of the responsibility of being Dean Winchester, savior, protector, warrior, martyr; it's all gone. Maybe because he finally gets to do the one thing almost everyone else eventually gets to do, the one thing he hasn't been able to do since he was four years old - stop worrying about monsters - maybe the weight of that being lifted is enough to lighten his load. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe it's not the weight of the monsters he's been carrying, but the people. The people he loves - those who are still with him (temporarily; it's always temporary, he always loses them one way or another) and those he's already lost, who have all thrown themselves onto the hand grenade that is Dean's life, who all died because of something he did or something he didn't do; they're gone but that doesn't mean they weigh any less, but now that they're been excised from his heart, along with his guilt and worry and responsibility, maybe he's so much lighter that even his voice is lighter.


Maybe... )

caranfindel: (Default)
All of a sudden I’ve got a lot of thoughts and theories (and yes, desperate hopes) about the rest of the season.
Rudy Hobbit always gets a pass… )
So. Yeah. If either of my scenarios happens, you won’t hear from me again because I will be dead from happiness. But it will be worth it.
caranfindel: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] stir_of_echoes was kind enough to make GIFs for part of Sympathy for the Devil (5.01) for me. (Go. Look. It is awesome and heartbreaking.) And it turns out I have a lot of thoughts about this. To me, it is one of the saddest scenes in the entire series. And that’s saying a lot.



Read more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
On further review, regarding 9.10 and 9.11...
Read more... )

And finally... a couple of wishes I made earlier in the season came true. I'm going to take that as a sign, and make some wishes for the rest of the season:

  • Sam is depressed. Clinically depressed. That's why he's acting this way. And by the end of the season he works his way out of it.

  • Dean apologizes, not for going to extremes to save Sam, but for lying to him about it. And Sam doesn't immediately let him off the hook, just like Dean never immediately lets Sam off the hook. Not because I dislike Dean, but because that's what people do.

  • Cas continues to be this interesting combination of angel and human, but he stops pretending the last 5 seasons didn't happen.

Let's see if the universe hears me!
caranfindel: (Default)
I'm still unsure how I'm supposed to feel about Gadreel. Spoilery for 9.10.
Read more... )
Just a few hours until 9.11, so things may be more black and white after that. But for now, I love that Gadreel is such a gray area for me. What do you think?
caranfindel: (Default)
I've seen posts that refer to Crowley "torturing" Gadreel/Sam in 9.10, and my question is, was that really torture?
Read more... )

What do you think?
caranfindel: (Default)
Thanks to the bozos at AT&T who gave us an obsolete/faulty Uverse box, I was unable to record 9.02 (sob) so I've been forced to rewatch on Hulu. Which means sitting through commercials, argh. Anyway, I noticed something this time around that I didn't notice before.

Someone (I thought it was [livejournal.com profile] ash48 but now I can't find any of it in her LJ) did a lot of really interesting meta posts regarding color in SPN. Basically, Team Free Will wears red and blue, and green is a sign of danger that's often worn by victims. And oh, look what Sammy's wearing at the end of this episode. When he's talking about finally being happy. Yes, Sam, that green really brings out your eyes. But it also screams "victim."

image host
(image courtesy [livejournal.com profile] fprintmoon)

Also, there's been some discussion about what Dean really meant when he said "it's a horror show up there" when Abaddon threatens to blow smoke up his ass. I know a lot of fans think he's talking about his state of mind, after rewatching (and rewatching and rewatching) I honestly think he's just talking about his ass. Because that's a very Dean thing to do - act as if he's taking her literally and make a joke about it.
caranfindel: (Default)
I know some are comparing Ezekiel's non-consensual angel occupation to rape, but I don't see it that way at all. The only comparison would be if Sam were a virgin, and Ezekiel burst into his room and said "The angels are coming, and they're looking for a virgin to sacrifice," and Dean said "Holy cow, you must immediately have sex with my comatose brother in order to prevent this." (Oh God, someone is going to use this as a fic prompt. PLEASE, I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS FIC.)

I realized this in a conversation in brightly_lit's comments (see http://brightly-lit.livejournal.com/20549.html ) ... in many ways, Dean treats Sam the way you'd treat a small child, especially when it comes to this issue of consent. Not just a small child, but a seriously ill small child. In 9.01, Dean treats Sam the way you'd treat your four year old who needs a kidney transplant. You don't ask the kid if he wants to live. You don't consider the moral implications of putting "someone else" inside his body. You just get in there and do what needs to be done. Because (a) keeping this kid alive is your most important job, the responsibility that trumps all others, and (b) even if it wasn't your job, you love him so much that you're going to do whatever it takes to keep him alive, even if it forces you to do something you know he wouldn't really want (and of course you convince yourself that it doesn't matter if he doesn't want it, because it's for his own good and he's really in no position to make that decision and the ends justify the means and good Lord, I could go on forever with this one, because it just doesn't matter, you can always justify saving the one person who you cannot let die). You know, and Dean knows, that it might make the child unhappy. And you want him to be happy, you really do, but if it's a choice between happy or alive, you pick alive. Every time.
But wait; there's more! )

So after a lot of rambling, I think my take on the consent issue is that Dean doesn't consider it an issue. When it comes to what he sees as his responsibility toward Sam, he's a very "ends justify the means" thinker. Whether Sam agrees, of course, is going to be another story.

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