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caranfindel: (Default)
Untitled Schmoopy ficlet
Genre:
Het
Length: About 1200
Spoilers: None
Synopsis: Some time ago I wrote this as a birthday gift for the amazing themegalosaurus on Tumblr, since she and I share a love for this particular ship, and for one reason or another I never posted it anywhere else. But now I am.



When he walks into the coffee shop, it takes him a few moments to adjust to the dim light, which gives her plenty of time to drink him in. He really is that tall, and that broad - she had almost convinced herself that she’d imagined those shoulders. His hair is longer, and there are a few new wrinkles around his eyes. But there’s something else different about him, something almost imperceptible, that she can’t really describe. Like he’s lost something - some kind of confidence or faith in himself, and oh crap, she’s really getting carried away, psychoanalyzing the guy who just looks like he’s missing something because he’s scanning the shop looking for the stranger who emailed him.

(A tiny piece of her heart notices his ring finger is still bare. She tells it to shut up.)

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caranfindel: (Default)
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
Genre: Gen, h/c, angst
Length: About 1600 words
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester
Spoilers: None
Synopsis: A kind of remix of With Gravy, a season 2 fic by the amazing kalliel, which you need to read first. Basically, I read her story and knew I had to hear Sam's side. (It's not as good as Dean's side, because seriously, she's amazing.)



~~~



Sam switches off with Mariana. Estimates she can go five minutes, tops, before slowing down to the point of ineffectiveness, to the point where he takes over again.

It's just numbers; 100 to 120 beats per minute. "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees sets the perfect rhythm. It's all right, it's okay; I'll live to see another day.

She stops to give rescue breaths, and Sam wants to tell her not to, that it will tire her out faster, that it's actually more effective to do hands-only CPR. But he's not going to tell her how to keep her husband alive. He gets up to tap her shoulder, to take over, to get back into his rhythm. Life going nowhere, somebody help me, somebody help me yeah.
Read more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
Sam, I know everyone is taking this day to talk about how brave you are, how kind, how compassionate, how strong, how smart, how thoughtful. And all of these things are true. But I'm here to talk about something else.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Written for the Celebrating Sam event on [community profile] ohsam. The prompt was "field surgery." This was supposed to be from Sam’s POV, but Dean kept taking over (as he so often does when I try to write Sam), so you get both sides.

Pairings: None (gen)
Warnings: Language, whumpage
Also available on AO3

~~~~~~~~~

Side A

Like many of the stupid things Sam does, it happens too quickly for Dean to stop it. Once minute he's on his ass in the damp slippery grass, fallen like a goddamn amateur, watching the spinthaak advance and hoping he can get off a shot before it rips his head off. The next minute Sam's charging between him and the spinthaak, close enough (too close too close too goddamn close) to shoot it right between the eyes. Dean sees its tail twitch forward before it goes down and he rolls out of the way, because he knows what's at the end of a spinthaak's tail. He hopes to god that Sam got out of the way in time. But a strangled cry of pain puts his heart in his throat.

Sam's on his knees, pawing at his chest, and in a second Dean's in front of him. He tries to pull his brother's trembling hands away to check for blood, because a spinthaak has pretty big fucking claws, too. "Sam. Sam! Did it get you?"

"I'm okay. Kill it." Sam bats his hands away and waves toward the spinthaak's corpse. He clutches his chest again and sinks to the ground with a groan.

"It's dead," Dean says. "You got it. You got too close, you moron! Where did it get you? Did it sting you?"

Of course it did, of course it did, because nothing but a spinthaak's sting would put him in this much pain. Sam's curled up on the ground, writhing, whimpering, and Dean doesn't want to think about what it takes to make his brother fucking whimper.

(But he already knows. He's had John Winchester's voice murmuring in the back of his head all morning. Spinthaak venom. Just a tiny bit in each quill, but it's one of the most painful things a human being can ever experience. Knew a fella got stung in the finger, said he'd have shot his own arm off if his friend hadn't been there to stop him. But the pain isn't what takes you out. The venom is a paralytic. The quill burrows its way to your core if you can't yank it out fast enough, gets to your heart or your diaphragm and boom, you're gone. No antivenin, no CPR. Your only hope is to get that quill out before it's out of reach. And you'll be in too much pain to get it out yourself. That's why you never hunt a spinthaak alone.)

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caranfindel: (Default)
(No new episode to discuss, wah!)

So, I think my muse has died. I'm signed up for two big bangs right now and I'm definitely going to have to drop out of one and most likely the other as well, because every time I open a document I re-read what I have and spend half an hour making minuscule changes to what I've already written and then I'm done. I'm dried up.

But Tumblr put me in a meta kind of mood today, when someone commented that we know Sam takes his coffee black because that's how he orders it in 7.07, "The Mentalists," and someone else mentioned that he doesn't take it black any other time.




(expanded from my Tumblr post)

Okay but this is when he’s separated from Dean, and he keeps telling himself it’s a good thing, it was the right decision, Dean killed Amy, for fuck’s sake, and lied about it and he had to hear it from a fucking leviathan and he just can’t look at the guy right now, can’t even think about him without feeling his blood pressure spike and being swept away on a surging wave of anger; it’s the right decision, he knows it’s the right decision.

And yet, on the other hand, he can’t stand it, is constantly worrying about Dean, wants to know if he’s okay, because what if something happens to him because Sam doesn’t have his back, it’ll just be one more person who was hurt or killed because of him, and Cas isn’t going to save him now, and Bobby’s not there to back him up, and beyond the worrying, he finds it difficult to sleep without the sound of Dean breathing in the bed next to his, wakes up in a cold panic when he does manage to doze off, slips into a downward spiral of worry and despair and no, he’s not sleeping much at all.

And what about Jacob, what about the child Amy was so desperate to protect, he doesn't know if Dean killed him too (is ashamed he didn't think to ask), because if he didn't, that means Jacob is alive and alone out there, and Sam should try to find him, try to help him (although he's afraid Jacob would end up as another entry on the list of those who died because Sam Winchester crossed their paths) but if he did, if Dean killed the kid, it means his whole she kills people, Sam excuse is a bunch of bullshit because Jacob didn't kill anybody.

(But the worst part is that Lucifer knows now, and he's never going to stop gloating about it.)

So, yeah, black coffee with an extra shot. That's what Sam's having today.

(Years from now, he'll find out about Magda, what the BMoL did to the sweet psychic girl he thought he'd saved, and Dean will be furious, will be spitting fire, will rage that the BMoL had no right to kill someone who wasn't going to hurt anyone, had no right to override their decision, should not have killed someone so safe and harmless, and Sam will relive this pain, will avoid catching his brother's eye, will bite back the urge to confess this is bringing up some old shit that I thought I'd forgotten because he doesn't know which would be worse - if Dean remembers, or if he doesn't.)
caranfindel: (Default)
This is wildly AU but it got stuck in my head and wouldn't go away. Spoilery for 12.03.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Inspired by a post [livejournal.com profile] agelade made on Tumblr. Because really, why would Sam believe any of this is true?


...

Sam crashes before he even makes it to the Impala. Dean sees it coming, of course. He knows his brother is only upright because he's too stubborn to go down in front of those British bastards. He sees him tremble as he shifts his weight back and forth from his bandaged foot to his veterinarian-patched leg, watches him grasp his lacerated hand and then drop it quickly, as if he doesn't want to draw attention to it, and he knows Sam's running on adrenaline and willpower alone. So he's close enough to catch him when he stumbles and collapses halfway to the car. They bundle him into the back seat of the Impala and Cas lays a hand on his forehead, erasing the damage and leaving him in what Cas calls "a deep restful sleep."

When they finally get back to the bunker and Dean opens the car door, Sam jerks awake and stares at him like he's not really convinced he's there. And, well, Dean can't blame him for that. He doesn't look at Mary at all, and Dean's less sure about that part.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Come lay bones on the alabaster stones
Genre: Horror, gen
Length: about 11700 words
Rating: R for language and subject matter
Warnings: Torture
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Hallucifer
Spoilers: Through S7
Synopsis: A season 7 AU that takes place after Sam gets his memories of Hell back. At night, Sam dreams of being tortured in Hell. During the day, his dreams start coming true, except they're happening to other people.

Also available on AO3.

Notes:

Written for the 2016 [livejournal.com profile] spnhorrorbang. The awesomely creepy art is by [livejournal.com profile] stormbrite - please check out the art master post on LJ or AO3 and show some love!

Thanks to my wonderful and ever-so-helpful beta readers, [livejournal.com profile] celtic_forest and [livejournal.com profile] firesign10.

The song Lucifer sings is Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby.



Sam's laid flat, pinned to the rack, arms and legs spread wide, iron spikes thrust through his wrists and ankles, and they're unnecessary, Lucifer can hold him motionless with his mind alone, they're simply decorative, the same way Sam is decorative.

Because I'm a very visual creature, Lucifer explains, over the sound of Sam's bones splintering as the spikes are hammered into his flesh, I like beautiful things, and you're so beautiful like this.

Lucifer runs a hand through Sam's hair, familiar caress that makes his blood run cold, picks up a knife and starts the cut on Sam's right wrist, just above the bloody wound gouged by the spike, pretty bracelet of blood curling around his wrist, isn't that nice, Sam, don't you like that.

He makes his way up Sam's arm, along his shoulder, and across his throat, carving a warm line of pain all along the way, down Sam's left arm, slicing a matching circle around that wrist, so beautiful.

Sings as he cuts, go to sleep little baby, go to sleep little baby, your mama's gone away and your daddy's gone to stay, didn't leave nobody but the baby.

Glides the blade further, cutting a trail down Sam's torso, splitting into a Y just above his navel, continues the cut down each leg, ending with circles of blood around both ankles.

Hold still, Lucifer murmurs, I think I can get it all off in one piece this time, shoves his fingers into the cuts, forcing his hand inside, and Sam doesn't want to scream, doesn't want to give Lucifer the pleasure of hearing him scream, but it's ripped from his throat as the skin is ripped from his body, and Sam's shrieks don't quite drown out the horrible wet tearing sound of skin separating from muscle.

As he lies gasping and whimpering, bloody flaps of skin folded on top of bare muscle and bone, he feels the knife again, this time tracing along his forehead, down the side of his face, around his chin and back up again, and Lucifer grasps the edge of the laceration and pulls and peels as Sam screams -


Sam wakes with a shout and sits up, gasping for air.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Repost because it's not showing up in friends feeds for some reason...

When its time for leaving

Length: About 4000 words
Rating: PG for language and mild violence
Warnings: If you can handle the show, you can handle this
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, a tiny bit of John Winchester
Spoilers: Eh. Maybe a teeny one if you haven't watched all of season 2. Surely you've watched all of season 2 by now.

Synopsis: A pre-series fic that takes place right after Sam graduates from high school. It's hot, Sam's being weird, Dean's annoyed, and a little bit of Winchester family history is about to be made.

...

It's only the end of May, but south Texas is already hot as balls. The Gulf's not close enough to cool them off, but it's close enough to make the air humid and sticky and thick, like walking through warm Jello. Which is why Dean's surprised when Sam announces he's going to sit in the car instead of going into the bar with them. John stiffens, gives Dean the take care of this look, and trudges away from the car, and thanks, Dad. Because Dean can think of nothing he'd rather do than deal with Sam's shit right now, out here in this fucking swamp. He leans in the open window and peers into the back seat. Sam is slumped around a book, every single bit of body language radiating annoyance. And annoying.

"Come on, Sam. It's a billion degrees out here."

"I'm fine."




Read on my LJ or on AO3.
caranfindel: (Default)
When its time for leaving

Length: About 4000 words
Rating: PG for language and mild violence
Warnings: If you can handle the show, you can handle this
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, a tiny bit of John Winchester
Spoilers: Eh. Maybe a teeny one if you haven't watched all of season 2. Surely you've watched all of season 2 by now.
Synopsis: A pre-series fic that takes place right after Sam graduates from high school. It's hot, Sam's being weird, Dean's annoyed, and a little bit of Winchester family history is about to be made.

Artwork by the fabulous [livejournal.com profile] 2blueshoes, who was willing to hook up with me on [livejournal.com profile] quicky_bang! Check out the art post and then go drool at ALL OF THE ART! Do it!

Also on AO3

...

It's only the end of May, but south Texas is already hot as balls. The Gulf's not close enough to cool them off, but it's close enough to make the air humid and sticky and thick, like walking through warm Jello. Which is why Dean's surprised when Sam announces he's going to sit in the car instead of going into the bar with them. John stiffens, gives Dean the take care of this look, and trudges away from the car, and thanks, Dad. Because Dean can think of nothing he'd rather do than deal with Sam's shit right now, out here in this fucking swamp. He leans in the open window and peers into the back seat. Sam is slumped around a book, every single bit of body language radiating annoyance. And annoying.

"Come on, Sam. It's a billion degrees out here."

"I'm fine."



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caranfindel: (Default)
Sam is on his knees, hands bound behind his back, coughing up his own blood, knowing the face of the MoL's enforcer is the last thing he'll ever see, vision going dark around the edges, when he sees Dean run into the room, face frozen in horror, and somehow Mom is with him, somehow Mom and Dean are together, somehow his last desperate hope actually came true and Billie relented and let his brother into Heaven with their mother, and maybe they're here to meet Sam as he leaves this world, maybe Sam will be allowed to join them and maybe he won't, but it doesn't matter, this is enough, Dean made it to Heaven and Sam got to see him one last time and this is enough, so he struggles to his feet and it hurts, oh god it hurts, but he will not meet death on his knees, not this time, and he smiles before he spits a mouthful of blood at the bastard who twisted the blade into his gut, because this is a good day to die.
caranfindel: (Default)


I know it's late, but I'm updating my master list, so I've compiled my fills for the 2015 Oh Sam Triple Play. Please visit the community and read everyone else's fills too because they are SO GOOD.

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caranfindel: (Default)


Written for the 2016 [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Length: About 21K words
Rating: R for language and show-level violence


A season 2 casefic that takes place immediately after "Playthings." Still reeling from John's revelation that Dean might have to kill his brother, the Winchesters find themselves in Nashville. They're investigating a case in which people are being brutally murdered by their loved ones, which cuts just a little too close to home, considering that Sam is trying to get Dean to accept that he might have to kill his own loved one.

My first casefic! \o/ Huge shoutout to my lovely artist, [livejournal.com profile] stargazingchola. Please visit her art post and show her some love (note that the art is spoilery, so please read the fic before you visit her art post.)

Many, many thanks to my wonderful betas, [livejournal.com profile] celtic_forest and [livejournal.com profile] gingersnap1224.

Also available on AO3

The title and chapter titles are from the One Republic song Stop and Stare.

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Sam's conversation with Chuck. Because it's criminal that we didn't get this in 11.22. (Banged out in an hour or so, and it shows, but I had to get it off my chest.)

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caranfindel: (Default)
A/N: Just a quick ~2300 word AU tag for episodes 11.18 and 11.17 that I couldn't get out of my head so I had to write it down. I read somewhere that 11.18, "Hell's Angel," was originally supposed to come before 11.17, "Red Meat." For the purposes of this fic I'm pretending things did actually happen in that order.

(The title is from Let's Go Crazy by Prince. For reasons.

Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby
)

AO3 version

...


It seemed like a good idea at the time. Sam was still on doctor-ordered, post-werewolf bedrest. Dean had a call for help from a hunter in Tallahassee. Sam had an irrational hatred of the entire state of Florida. Amara was hunkered down somewhere off their radar, and Lucifer was under her control. There really didn't seem to be a good reason for Dean not to go help Buck out. One day down, one day to gank the monster, one day back. Even Sam insisted he'd be fine, that he wouldn't even leave the bunker.

God, it was a stupid idea.
keep reading )

caranfindel: (Default)
It feels like sacrilege to rewrite any part of 11.17, because it was so good. And yet there are things we didn't get to see, and Sam really needed to be hospitalized after all of that, and if I weren't okay with sacrilege, I wouldn't be watching this show anyway. So here's my 11.17 tag.


Also on AO3



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caranfindel

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