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caranfindel: (Default)
Genre: Gen, angst
Length: About 4000 words
Rating: R for violent themes and suicidal ideation
Characters: Sam Winchester, Jody Mills
Synopsis: Dean doesn’t get to call the shots this time. Dean doesn’t get to demand that someone has to live.


Time to claim my Summergen fic! This was written for [livejournal.com profile] tifaching, which is extra cool because I think they wrote my first ever Summergen gift. I encourage you to check them all out, because there were some doozies this year. And thanks to my beta reader, the lovely [livejournal.com profile] monicawoe!

~~~

Dean has only been gone for a few months when Sam discovers the lump on Miracle's belly. "It's a very aggressive form of cancer," the veterinarian says. "I got as much as I could, but because of its location, it wasn't possible to get it all. Without treatment, he'll probably have three to four good months. Chemotherapy could buy him a few more months. But at his age…"

Dean would say do all the treatment, whatever it takes. But Dean doesn't get to call the shots this time. Dean doesn't ever get to decide again that someone has to live, no matter how peaceful the end that awaits them, no matter how painful and useless their life is, no matter how high the price of keeping them alive, no matter how ready they are to end it all. Dean doesn't get to demand that they keep living just because he can't stand losing them. And he doesn't get to go off and fucking die himself anyway and leave them alone. Dean doesn't get to do that again.

(Sam might, just possibly, be a little bitter.)

Read more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
It’s Supernatural Day, the anniversary of the day the pilot first aired. And I have been watching Psych for a week rather than beginning my Supernatural rewatch, which I should feel guilty about. However, Supernatural has wormed its way into my viewing anyway, as it always does. Every episode has someone from Supernatural in it, because one of the Psych costars is Tim Omundson, who played Cain. However, since it was also filmed in Vancouver, every episode has also had someone else from Supernatural, ranging from Alex Calvert to That Guy Who Played A Hunter Who Forced Sam To Drink Demon Blood. Today I watched 1.06, which was the first episode that (as far as I can tell) didn't have a second Supernatural actor. But it did have (1) the guy who played Kripke on Big Bang Theory, and (b) a re-enactment of a Civil War battle that took place in Lawrence, Kansas. So I think it still counts.
caranfindel: (Default)
We've just finished season 1 of Ted Lasso, which is an absolutely charming show about an American college football coach who goes to England to coach football, even though it's an entirely different sport. I was inordinately pleased to see one of Ted's players was named Bumbercatch. But I was even more pleased to see that (1) there's a player named Winchester, and (b) there's a theme about green army men warding off danger, and Ted giving them to people he cares about.
caranfindel: (Default)
I have just watched 12.06, "Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox" on TNT, and I have some thoughts…

In the montage of Asa making out with various babes in his car, one of those women must have been Tasha Banes.

When Dean bitches at his mom because she's driving around looking up things in John's journal instead of asking her kids about it, I want her to thump him upside the head and say "You were four years old last month! I am not ready to treat you like an adult! Will you just give me a little time to deal with this?"

Jody met Asa "a few months ago" and she's already (1) met his mother and (b) started fantasizing about a life with him? Girl moves fast.

It's interesting that Jody's immediate reaction, when learning Mary is alive, is isn't this awesome? instead of um, my son came back to life too and that turned out not so good, so be careful, guys.

I love these guys with Jody. I really do. She should have been their mom.
caranfindel: (Default)
The gif I wanted finally showed up on Tumblr. If you watched the episode, go watch this again. And if you didn’t watch the episode, definitely go see what you missed. My buttons, they were pushed.

Here it is!
caranfindel: (Default)
Here we are at episode 17. No recap but plenty of random comments. And some blurry caps.

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caranfindel: (Default)




This fic has everything…

MoC Dean!
Angsty Sam
Sam thinking about Dean murdering him!
A fix-it for that ridiculous Halloween story!

Go read it…
subject and object
caranfindel: (Default)

7FDF5A75-0028-40E7-9E84-89117B202447.png
(Sorry, but that name just bothers me. It's so un-Dean.)

In no particular order:


  • Ozzy

  • Zeppelin

  • Axel

  • Rufus

  • Harley

  • Killer

  • Rocky

  • Hetfield

  • Halen

  • Lemmy

What do you think? Is it, perhaps, time for a poll?

Read more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
I don't know if anybody's in the mood to think about Walker today, but I need to talk about something other than {ahem} prequelgate, so let's just share some brief thoughts, not a whole recap.

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caranfindel: (Default)
I didn't expect to recap 1.14 and yet here I am, still avoiding my unfinished Summergen fic. I'm actually writing this in real time, as I watch the episode. So for once I'm not pretending I don't know what happens. I literally don't know.

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caranfindel: (Default)
WELL. Turns out I have a lot to say about this episode. Maybe because it's the first one I actually watched on a TV and not on my phone? Maybe because the whole thing was one big Supernatural fanfic? But I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about this one and decided I need to do an actual recap. (Don't count on it ever happening again.)

Read more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
I did not (and still do not) intend to discuss every individual episode of Walker, but we've got some time to kill before 1.13 (time I should be using to work on Summergen, shush) and I have things to talk about.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Hello, friend. If you're reading my prompts and thinking "what on earth am I going to do with this nonsense that she would actually like," let me assure you that it doesn't matter. Write whatever your muse tells you to write. Take my prompt and turn it sideways. Take one tiny detail and magnify it, and ignore the rest. Just have fun with it, and create something that makes you happy. Chances are, it will make me happy too.

(Okay, don't turn it into an outer space AU where Cas is a Martian and Sam is an android. That probably won't make me happy.)

{smooches}
caranfindel: (Default)
Lebanon, Kansas
Six Months Ago


Having watched 15.20 (on its six month anniversary!) yesterday, followed immediately by 1.01, I have some thoughts.
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caranfindel: (Default)
Today TNT is showing “Carry On,” followed immediately by the Pilot. I wonder if my heart can take it.
caranfindel: (Default)
We're up to episodes 10 and 11. Keep in mind that I skip through a lot of teenage drama and shit.

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Summergen!

May. 11th, 2021 12:43 pm
caranfindel: (Default)
I'm celebrating the delightful and talented [livejournal.com profile] kalliel's birthday by signing up for Summergen. Come join me!




Sign-ups May 1 – May 19 - Click the banner for details!
caranfindel: (Default)
Genre: Wincest (non-explicit)
Length: About 1300 words
Rating: Hard PG or light R
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Synopsis: My first (and probably only) Wincest. No actual sex, just post-coital angst. The morning after the first time. Dean's POV and then Sam's POV.
Notes: No, I am no abandoning my gen status. But this plot bunny burrowed into my brain and refused to go away until I wrote it out. Flowers in the Attic is a cheesy gothic novel featuring four children who are locked in an attic by their scheming mother who hopes to hide their existence; the oldest son and daughter eventually begin an incestuous relationship. The title is from "The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash, which I never heard until recently but am now obsessed with.

. . .

Part 1: Dean

It doesn't start with romance or lust. It doesn't start with that little flash of bare skin visible above his jeans when he raises his arms (it makes you crazy and you don't know why; you see him shirtless all the time but for some reason that little strip of skin that isn't meant to be showing just brings you to your knees). It doesn't start with you staring at that perfectly sculpted spot at the base of his throat and finally setting your mouth to it and marking him up the way you've dreamt about for years (you've bruised him when you were sparring, and you've battered him in anger, but you've never left a mark for the purpose of saying hands off, he's mine and oh, what you would do just for the chance). It doesn't start with you too drunk to keep holding it all in and Sam too drunk to say no (you would never, you would never).

It starts with terror. Pure balls-to-the-wall terror that you're about to lose him. A horribly fucked-up hunt where you almost die, but more importantly, you almost watch Sam die, and you stumble into your motel room, both still out of breath, still not quite sure what happened out there, and you're checking him for injuries and every breath is a silent mantra, I almost lost you, I almost lost you, and nothing is enough, you want to crawl under his skin, you want to open him up and cradle his heart in your hands to make sure it's still beating, you're holding him tighter and tighter and he's clutching you just as tight, looking into your soul with those big wet eyes and saying "Dean, Dean," like your name itself is a prayer, a request. A plea. Whatever he is pleading for, you will give it to him. And it turns out the only thing he wants is all of you.

Which is convenient. Because the only thing you want is all of him.

. . .

But then comes After, and you have to face what you've done.

When you wake up (his arm is still flung over you, it's so wrong, it's so wrong), you quietly crawl out of bed and hurry into the shower. There is no water hot enough to scrub you clean, no soap strong enough to wash away your sins (watch out for your brother, it's your most important job). When you give up and turn off the water, you realize you didn't bring any clothes to change into, and you sure as hell weren't wearing any when you fled into the bathroom. There's nothing you can do but wrap a towel around your waist and hope he's still asleep.

He's not. He's sitting up in the bed you shared. His hair is a tousled mess, a silky brown cloud, and your fingers twitch with the craving to be tangled in it again. He doesn't look disgusted, or repulsed. He looks… hopeful. Like he hasn't caught on yet that you are a monster.

(He will be the death of you.)

(He is your reason for living.)

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