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Genre: Gen, angst
Length: About 4000 words
Rating: R for violent themes and suicidal ideation
Characters: Sam Winchester, Jody Mills
Synopsis: Dean doesn’t get to call the shots this time. Dean doesn’t get to demand that someone has to live.

Time to claim my Summergen fic! This was written for

tifaching, which is extra cool because I think they wrote my first ever Summergen gift. I encourage you to check them all out, because there were some doozies this year. And thanks to my beta reader, the lovely

monicawoe!

~~~

Dean has only been gone for a few months when Sam discovers the lump on Miracle's belly. "It's a very aggressive form of cancer," the veterinarian says. "I got as much as I could, but because of its location, it wasn't possible to get it all. Without treatment, he'll probably have three to four good months. Chemotherapy could buy him a few more months. But at his age…"

Dean would say do all the treatment, whatever it takes. But Dean doesn't get to call the shots this time. Dean doesn't ever get to decide again that someone has to live, no matter how peaceful the end that awaits them, no matter how painful and useless their life is, no matter how high the price of keeping them alive, no matter how ready they are to end it all. Dean doesn't get to demand that they keep living just because he can't stand losing them. And he doesn't get to go off and fucking die himself anyway and leave them alone. Dean doesn't get to do that again.

(Sam might, just possibly, be a little bitter.)

( Read more... )

This fic has everything…

MoC Dean!
Angsty Sam
Sam thinking about Dean murdering him!
A fix-it for that ridiculous Halloween story!

Go read it…
subject and object

Hello, friend. If you're reading my prompts and thinking "what on earth am I going to do with this nonsense that she would actually like," let me assure you that it doesn't matter. Write whatever your muse tells you to write. Take my prompt and turn it sideways. Take one tiny detail and magnify it, and ignore the rest. Just have fun with it, and create something that makes you happy. Chances are, it will make me happy too.

(Okay, don't turn it into an outer space AU where Cas is a Martian and Sam is an android. That probably won't make me happy.)

{smooches}

I'm celebrating the delightful and talented

kalliel's birthday by signing up for Summergen. Come join me!

Sign-ups May 1 – May 19 - Click the banner for details!

Genre: Gen, hurt Sam, MoC Dean
Length: About 2000 words
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel
Synopsis: Written for the following anonymous prompt in the May 2020

ohsam Sam Winchester Prompt-a-thon: Sam: “Please, Dean… Please, just… Just hit me.” Somewhere, recently, I remarked that I may as well have a separate Hurt!Sam tag for fics where Dean is the one who hurts him. So. Here's another one. This probably isn’t what you had in mind, Nonny, and I kind of hate posting it as a fill for this prompt because it became so Dean-centric. And honestly, even I think it’s a bit much. But here you go. Pure whump without plot, hurt without comfort. Takes place during the end of season 10, when the Mark of Cain is ramping up Dean’s violent tendencies. The title is from “With or Without You” by U2.

+++

Sam has been standing in Dean’s doorway for five minutes. Dean has been ignoring him for five minutes. He’s aware Sam is there, of course. Hyperaware. The Mark on his arm is like an extra set of eyes and ears, an enhanced version of his consciousness of Sam’s location that normally only kicks in when he’s in full-on hunting mode. But nothing is normal now. The Mark wants to know where Sam is at all times. Dean does not know why the Mark cares so much. He does not question it. He upends the whiskey bottle with a trembling hand, drains the last of it, and does not ask Sam what he wants.

“Talk to me,” Sam finally says. Soft. Tentative. “Tell me what’s going on.”

The thing is, there are things Dean can't tell his brother.

He cannot tell Sam that when he looks at him like that, with the puppy dog eyes full of sympathy and concern and a bit of fear, Dean cannot tell him he has a vivid sense memory of putting his hands on the sides of that face and pressing his thumbs into those sad eyes, pushing until he feels the pop, rendering Sam incapable of giving him that look. He cannot tell him Alastair used to bring him boys who looked like Sam, boys he’d made to look like Sam, and laugh with glee when that was the first thing Dean did to them, every time. No, he cannot tell him that.

What he can say is “Sam, you need to not be here.”

“Where else do I need to be?”

Dean runs one hand down his face. The other clenches into a fist. “Just not here, okay? You don’t know what’s going on.”

“I do, Dean. I know more than you think.” Sam steps closer, still tentative. He’s not quite within Dean’s reach. The Mark is very aware of the distance. “I know that whatever the Mark is doing to you, it builds up. I see the shaking, and the drinking. I know that after a hunt, after you kill something, after you… after you hurt something, you’re better for a while. And I know… I know you shouldn’t be hunting right now. Not the way you are right now.”

Something hot flares up behind Dean’s eyes at that, because hunting is the only thing that helps the way he is right now, and Sam knows that, and here he is saying don’t. The Mark throbs its angry assent.

“So I was thinking,” Sam continues. “If you need to hit something, if that’s what helps. Hit me.”

( Read more... )

Genre: Gen, casefic
Length: ~20K
Rating: PG-13 for language
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Soulless Sam, Bobby Singer
Spoilers: Through season 6
Synopsis: A casefic set in season 6, soon after "Chained Heat" and before "Appointment in Samarra." Dean and Soulless Sam are in Florida again, where Dean's working two cases - the monster he and Sam are hunting at Disneyworld, and the case of Sam's missing soul. And he's got a lot of soul-searching to do. Which sounds like a bad joke, but his life has turned into a bad joke, so. It fits. With flashbacks to season 4, soon after 4.03, "In The Beginning."
Author's note: Written for the 2019

spn_j2_bigbang. Huge thanks to my artist,

amberdreams, who plucked my unloved fic from the reject pile and produced some truly squeal-worthy work - please go visit the art masterpost on LJ or AO3. (Disclaimer: if any Disney lawyers come calling, I'm going to tell them I don't know her.) And equally huge thanks to my ever-lovely beta,

themegalosaurus, and to

madbadandplaid who went above and beyond in terms of editing, questioning, and poking me with a sharp stick.

Also on AO3

~~~

2010

Dean wakes with a start at the the thunk of the car door closing. He's kind of surprised he actually fell asleep. He doesn't normally sleep well when Sam's driving, and even less so with this particular version of Sam at the wheel. He checks his watch and is shocked to see his nap lasted several hours. It's a tribute to the effectiveness of Jack Daniels, but it also explains why he's got such a godawful crick in his neck. Dammit. How does Sam not understand that do you want to head out in the morning actually means I want to sleep before we head out? And that no, that's fine, I can drive, I don't need to sleep isn't an appropriate answer?

Real Sam got that.

No, not past tense. Real Sam gets that.

RoboSam, on the other hand, drives through the night and doesn't bother to wake Dean when he stops at a gas station. The keys are in the ignition, so Dean pockets them and climbs stiffly out of the car, stretching and popping his neck as he heads toward the building. It's warmer than he expected, the air heavy and humid for December. He peeks at the newspaper rack next to the door to check their location and stops in his tracks, confused. He's still standing there when Sam comes out.

"Sam, why are we in Valdosta, Georgia?"

Sam hands Dean a water bottle and takes a long drink from his own. "Because we need gas? Because Valdosta is a convenient stop on I-75?"

"Goddammit. Why are we in Georgia at all? We were on our way to California. How is Georgia a convenient stop on the way to California?"

"California?" Sam blinks at him for a second, then laughs. "No, dude, we're going to Disneyworld. Disneyland is the one in California. I told you, two employees were mysteriously killed at Disneyworld. Which is in Florida."

Like Dean keeps track of which Disney is where. He just assumed, because… well, because his brother would never have accepted a case in Florida without being talked into it.

"Florida? You're okay with that?"

RoboSam shrugs. Of course he's okay with Florida, in the same way he's okay with everything. "We don't have to go if you don't want to. We can hand this one off to someone else."

"No, it's not that. I'm fine with it. I just didn't think you would be."

"Oh, okay." Sam folds his arms and gets that pissy look on his face. The look that isn't really Sam's pissy look, which makes it worse. "So it's not that you don't want to go to Florida. It's just that you want me to not want to go to Florida."

Because your real brother wouldn't want to. It's like he's waiting for Dean to say it. But Dean's not going to give him the satisfaction, considering how Sam acted after their last conversation about getting his soul back. He'd told Dean he didn't want it back, stomped off and refused to discuss it further, refused to admit Dean was right. They've come to an uneasy truce, if you can call ignoring the elephant in the room a truce. Dean hasn't capitulated, he just temporarily stopped telling Sam how wrong he is.

He shoves the keys into Sam's hand. "I gotta take a piss. Get some gas and then get the a/c running, but when I come back, you're riding shotgun. I'm driving."

And it feels wrong, it feels sneaky and disloyal, dragging Sam's body to the one place he never wanted to go again. But they're on their way to Florida, because no one's here to stop them.

~~~

(At some point in the last few years, Dean's life turned into a bad joke.

Two hunters walk into a bar. The bartender asks for their order, and the first hunter says "Whiskey for me. My brother here will have some demon blood."

The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve your type here, fella."

The second hunter says "No, it's okay, it doesn't matter if it's not my blood type. I'm just gonna drink it.")

( Read more... )

I’m looking for one or more people to beta my

spn_j2_bigbang fic (so it needs to be someone who isn’t signed up as an artist for that challenge). Gen, about 20k words. I’m looking less for spelling and grammar and more for logic, continuity, canon compliance, and BRUTAL HONESTY about whether the whole thing is boring or stupid. Any help would be most greatly appreciated. Comment or message me, whatever works best for you, thanks!

I think I signed up for a Big Bang at the end of 2018, but I can't think of which one it was, and I can't find any emails about it. I know it wasn't the SWBB (I did sign up for that one and then crashed & burned), but I can't think of what it would have been. Did I make it up? What Big Bangs are people writing for right now?

This isn't actually a new fic - I was messing with my tags and I realized I had posted this one directly to

spnspiration instead of just posting a link, so I decided to repost to my own journal just to make sure it doesn't go away.

But if you try sometimes
Length: About 1100 words
Rating: PG-13 for language
Characters: Dean Winchester, omniscient narrator
Spoilers: Through Bad Day at Black Rock. This is an AU of that episode, where Dean did not save Sam after Cold Oak, but it won't make sense unless you've seen BDaBR.
Synopsis: A different day at Black Rock. But it's still bad.
Notes: This was written to fill the omniscient POV square on my

spnspiration bingo card, except I'm a moron because I don't actually have that square. Dammit. I guess it goes in my free space. Or can I pretend I never got slam poetry? Cause I'm never gonna write slam poetry. (ETA... Radical revision! Woot!) Title is from the Rolling Stones song "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

The end of this story is sitting in front of you. All you have to do is pick up that napkin. But to understand what you see beneath the napkin, first I have to take you back to the beginning.

( The end of this story is sitting in front of you. )

These are the days of miracle and wonder (this is the long distance call)

Continued from part 1

( Read more... )

Title: These are the days of miracle and wonder (this is the long distance call)
Genre: Gen, hell trauma
Length: ~10K
Rating: PG-13 for language, show-level gore
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, other canon characters
Spoilers: Through the end of s13
Synopsis: Sam Winchester's life has been touched by many things - love, loss, fear, hope, pain, and always, in the background, witchcraft. Written for the 2018

spn_summergen challenge for the amazing

quickreaver and originally posted here.

Author's note: Just like last year, I was both thrilled and horrified when I saw who my prompts came from, because I love and adore Quickreaver and didn't know if I could come up with anything worthy. I'm afraid that I kind of gave her the opposite of what she asked for, but this is where the muse sent me.

Why is this the extended cut? Because it has an added scene. I couldn't get this bit to work until after I'd already submitted my fic, and I decided to add it after the fact. If you've already read the fic and don't want to read the whole thing again, it's the new chapter VIII.

Thanks so much to my lovely betas,

gatorgurl94 and

amberdreams on LJ and noxbait on Tumblr. The title is from "Boy in the Bubble" by Paul Simon.

~~~

I. Sandusky, Ohio. Sam Winchester is five years old.

Sam talks to things that other people don't talk to. He thanks the grass for being cool and soft under his feet. He tells the birds their songs are pretty. He doesn't use his voice; he talks to them in his head. And sometimes they answer.

(Not with words. That would be silly. Birds don't know words. Grass doesn't know words. But they answer, all the same.)

It never occurs to him that other people don't do the same thing until the day Dean kills a spider in the bathtub. "Why didn't you just ask him to leave?" he asks.

Dean laughs like it's a joke, and it makes Sam feel inexplicably hot and angry inside. "It's not funny," Sam says. "You didn't have to kill him. You could have just told him to get out of our bathtub."

Dean rolls his eyes dramatically. "People can't talk to insects, Spider-Man."

"Not the way you talk to people, but you can tell them things. You know." Surely Dean knows. Dean knows everything. It's just one of those things everyone can do and you don't talk need to talk about, like the way you can un-focus your eyes, or feel if it's going to rain. Isn't it?

But Dean takes a long time to answer, and Sam gets an uncomfortable feeling deep in his belly. "No, Sam," he finally says. "You can't tell them things. They're spiders. People can't talk to spiders. Not normal people." Something about Dean's expression - a little angry, a little worried, a little frightened - makes Sam think people aren't supposed to talk to spiders. "I mean, you don't think you're really talking to them, right?"

"No, I know," he says quickly. "I was just joking." He doesn't bring it up again. He feels like he did something bad, something wrong, and he doesn't want Dean to look angry-worried-frightened at him again.

~~~
( Read more... )

Somehow I managed not to post this on my LJ when I wrote it, so here it is, almost a year later.

That gives us hope when the whole day’s done
Genre: Gen, hurt!Sam, hurt!Dean
Length: About 600 words
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester
Synopsis: Written for the November 2017 Oh Sam Comment Meme for the following two prompts:

1. Dean finds and follows a blood trail left in the snow/sand/forest, and finds a pale and bleeding-out Sam at the end of it.
2. Sam + a car crash = freaking out Dean!

. . .

The first thing Dean thinks when he wakes up is fuck, it's cold. The second thing is everything hurts. And then it hits him, the memory of the truck slamming into this piece of shit car he stole, the stomach-churning feeling of spinning helpless and uncontrolled over the icy road and tipping over into the ditch, and then (and he'll never forgive himself for taking so long to get to that point) he thinks Sam.

"Sam?" His voice is small, and weak, and that's probably why Sam isn't answering. He probably can't hear him. Maybe he's not even in the car - maybe he got himself out and walked back up to the road for help. Maybe he's on the phone right now. That would be the best case scenario, right? And maybe, just this once, Dean's gonna get the best case scenario.

All he has to do is turn his head. It's slow, cause it fucking hurts, but finally he does it and oh, God, he's not getting the best case scenario.

( Read more... )

And their name is

dephigravity because LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT SAM’S FACE. LOOK AT HIS HAIR. LOOK AT IT AND FALL IN LOVE.

spn_masquerade
The Dance of Debauchery: Round Opens September 8th

Oh, yeah, and there’s a fic challenge. But this art COMPLETES ME.

Once again, my Summergen gifter went in a direction that I never even considered when I came up with the prompt. Is that what normally happens? This is only my second year to participate, so I don't know. What I do know is that it makes it so much fun! I know writers often apologize for not producing what the writer expected (and I may have even done that last year? who knows) but honestly, I really enjoy getting a story I didn't expect. I'm not going to tell you what I like about it, because that would be spoilery, but I am going to ask that you go read it yourself and show my mystery writer some love!

no title

I've signed up for the

spn_j2_bigbang, so this is me officially putting pressure on myself to get it done. Yikes.

(Thanks to

omgspnbigbangfor the icon!)

Since I don't have a new episode to review this week, let me fill that hole in your life with one of my very favorite things: hurt!Sam fics.

( Read more... )

There I go, turn the page
Genre: Gen, h/c, angst
Length: About 1200 words
Characters: Sam Winchester, Kevin Tran, Dean Winchester
Spoilers: For the end of S8

Synopsis: Written for the 2016

ohsam Triple Play for the following prompt:

1. snowy woods
2. Kevin
3. Where did Sam get to? Better follow the footprints. The bare and bloody part is disturbing, though.

Bonus illustration by the amazing

quickreaver! Here's a sneak peek, but please go check out the original.

~~~

When Dean's ringtone warbles from Kevin's phone he spends a few seconds debating whether to answer it, but the ring somehow sounds angry and anxious and impatient - as if it were Dean's voice and not an inhuman electronic tone - and Kevin knows he won't stop calling until he gets an answer, so he grudgingly answers.

( Read more... )

Friends, Kansans (for surely we are all honorary Kansans today), fandom, lend me your ears. This is a particularly auspicious day. This year, November 2, the day that made the Winchesters what they are, is on a Thursday. I'm wearing plaid again for the occasion, some kind of brushed fabric as soft and warm as a hug from Sam Winchester (and oh, what a hug that would be, and though statistically there's a good chance it would be the last hug you ever received, especially if you were a woman in season 12, well, what a way to go, right?). But I digress. I come to bury Sam Winchester, not to praise him. Although... can't we do both?

Yes, yes we can.

Please stop by the

ohsam November 2017 Comment Meme and leave a prompt, or fill a prompt, or do both. Let's both praise and bury our precious little Sammy. (Well, not actually bury. Let's just rough him up a bit.)

See you there!

I feel bad reccing Summergen fics when I'm pretty sure I haven't even managed to comment on some of the ones on this list. And really, every single fic this year was a good read (and God, I'm not even talking about the art yet!). But here's a list of some that really grabbed me, either because they push my own personal buttons or because I love that writer's style or because they're just objectively good

Brontide by Brightly-lit - Subtle and beautifully creepy. Brightly is like, one of the nicest people in the fandom, and doesn't really participate on LJ now, so it was such a thrill to see this was her work.

Signs of Life by wetsammywinchester - Does the impossible by making "Red Meat" even better.

Abide by withthedemonblood - I cannot describe my feelings about this fic without spoiling the fic, so I'll just strongly suggest that you read it.

2081 and Higher by

kalliel - One of my favorite writers ever and now she's an artist and I'm consumed with jealousy and I want to hate her but she makes it impossible, so I'll just have to be obsessed with her instead. So should you.

As Other Birds by

crowroad3 - I knew this had to be Crowroad's work as soon as I read it, thanks to her gorgeous, inimitable style. Poetry and Winchesters and witches and magic... bliss!

Rae's Diner by

marietwist - Art and fic and daaaaaammmmmnnn.

What Lies Beneath by

madebyme_x - Another beautiful fic that hits me right in the heart and why do the people I love keep hurting me so???

Coffeehouse ft.. Alternate Universe by

indiachick - Any combination of indiachick's and themegalosaurus's brains has to be amazing, and this is.

Long Before We Fall by

finchandsparrow - Someone new to LJ who I'm now stalking because I hope we get more like this!

A Hiatus by

themegalosaurus - A lovely curtain fic that needs to have a new chapter every week, because I don't ever want it to stop.

And finally, Message in a Bottle by

tifaching - Okay, I've already recced this once, but I had to add it to this list because I love it, and not just because it was written for me. ;-)

Thanks again to the mods for organizing this challenge!

Title: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Genre: Gen, angst
Length: About 3100 words
Rating: Light R or hard PG
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester
Spoilers: Mentions events that happened at the end of S12
Warnings: Language and a little bit of violent imagery
Author's Notes: My first attempt at Summergen! When I saw that my recipient was

crowroad3, I was both overjoyed (because I'm such a huge fan) and horrified (because what could I write that would be worthy?) Thank you, my friend, for the fabulous prompts, and for being such an inspiration in general. Thanks also to the

spn_summergen mods for running this challenge, which I know takes much time and dedication and blood and sweat and tears, and to every other participant, for providing so much awesome gen fic and Art that I still haven't quite worked my way completely through, and thanks also to my darling speedy beta,

manzanita_crow.
Synopsis: Something bad happens when you break a blood oath with a reaper. Sam and Dean have to fix it.

~~~

They leave the Impala at the Timber Lake Trailhead. Dean slams the trunk closed, shoulders his pack, and raises his eyebrows at Sam, as if to ask you sure about this? Sam shrugs. He's as sure as he'll ever be. It's not like there's anyone they can ask. Not like he has one of the most powerful witches in existence on speed dial any more. Not like there's any real way of knowing if this is going to work, if the weeks of sweat and blood prepping for this are actually going to pay off.

He unfolds the map and lays it across the trunk. "If we head straight east, we'll pick up Route 34 at Farview Curve, and we'll miss all this." Sam runs a finger along the switchback twists and hairpin turns of a section of Route 34. "Or we can go northeast, between these two creeks. It will take a little longer, since we'll have to backtrack some once we get to the road, but we won't have to cross a creek without a bridge."

Dean squints up at the cold morning sky, down at the frozen ground. Scuffs at the hard crust of snow with his boot. "Creek's probably frozen, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Okay. East it is." Sam folds the map and keeps his face neutral. Doesn't want to reveal how relieved he is that Dean actually... spoke. Contributed. Acted like he gives a shit, about this job or literally anything else. He threads his arms through the straps of his own pack, checks his compass, and starts down the slope away from the trailhead.

( Read more... )

And now, let me put in a plug for the story that was written for my own prompt. After S10 ended with Dean killing Death, I got a plot bunny where Dean actually killed Sam, and Death put him away in the promised mysterious safe place, and then stuff happened. But I didn't know what to do with it, so I put it away and eventually submitted it as a Summergen prompt.

tifaching ran with it and took it to some unexpected places and I don't want to give away any details, because I want you to experience the lovely way it unfolds. But I do want you to read it, because it's awesome! Please check out Message in a Bottle and show some love!

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caranfindel

September 2021

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Page Summary

Fic: We can be heroes, just for one day
Go read my Summergen gift!
An open letter to whoever ends up with my Summergen prompts
Summergen!
Fic: Nothing to win and nothing left to lose
Fic: We are merely players, performers and portrayers
Looking for a beta
Well, this is embarrassing...
Fic: But if you try sometimes
Fic: These are the days of miracle and wonder (this is the long distance call) - 2/2
Fic: These are the days of miracle and wonder (this is the long distance call) - extended cut (1/2)
Fic: That gives us hope when the whole day's done
Someone knows my kinks heart so well...
My Summergen gift!
Let's do this
My gift to you: hurt!Sam fic recs
Fic: There I go, turn the page
I am here to speak what I do know
Summergen recs
Summergen fic: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

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Style Credit

Style: Ivory Alcea for Mobility by branchandroot
Resources: Mitsuba Aoi

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