caranfindel: (Default)
Genre: Gen, angst
Length: About 4000 words
Rating: R for violent themes and suicidal ideation
Characters: Sam Winchester, Jody Mills
Synopsis: Dean doesn’t get to call the shots this time. Dean doesn’t get to demand that someone has to live.


Time to claim my Summergen fic! This was written for [livejournal.com profile] tifaching, which is extra cool because I think they wrote my first ever Summergen gift. I encourage you to check them all out, because there were some doozies this year. And thanks to my beta reader, the lovely [livejournal.com profile] monicawoe!

~~~

Dean has only been gone for a few months when Sam discovers the lump on Miracle's belly. "It's a very aggressive form of cancer," the veterinarian says. "I got as much as I could, but because of its location, it wasn't possible to get it all. Without treatment, he'll probably have three to four good months. Chemotherapy could buy him a few more months. But at his age…"

Dean would say do all the treatment, whatever it takes. But Dean doesn't get to call the shots this time. Dean doesn't ever get to decide again that someone has to live, no matter how peaceful the end that awaits them, no matter how painful and useless their life is, no matter how high the price of keeping them alive, no matter how ready they are to end it all. Dean doesn't get to demand that they keep living just because he can't stand losing them. And he doesn't get to go off and fucking die himself anyway and leave them alone. Dean doesn't get to do that again.

(Sam might, just possibly, be a little bitter.)

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caranfindel: (Default)
It’s Supernatural Day, the anniversary of the day the pilot first aired. And I have been watching Psych for a week rather than beginning my Supernatural rewatch, which I should feel guilty about. However, Supernatural has wormed its way into my viewing anyway, as it always does. Every episode has someone from Supernatural in it, because one of the Psych costars is Tim Omundson, who played Cain. However, since it was also filmed in Vancouver, every episode has also had someone else from Supernatural, ranging from Alex Calvert to That Guy Who Played A Hunter Who Forced Sam To Drink Demon Blood. Today I watched 1.06, which was the first episode that (as far as I can tell) didn't have a second Supernatural actor. But it did have (1) the guy who played Kripke on Big Bang Theory, and (b) a re-enactment of a Civil War battle that took place in Lawrence, Kansas. So I think it still counts.
caranfindel: (Default)
I have just watched 12.06, "Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox" on TNT, and I have some thoughts…

In the montage of Asa making out with various babes in his car, one of those women must have been Tasha Banes.

When Dean bitches at his mom because she's driving around looking up things in John's journal instead of asking her kids about it, I want her to thump him upside the head and say "You were four years old last month! I am not ready to treat you like an adult! Will you just give me a little time to deal with this?"

Jody met Asa "a few months ago" and she's already (1) met his mother and (b) started fantasizing about a life with him? Girl moves fast.

It's interesting that Jody's immediate reaction, when learning Mary is alive, is isn't this awesome? instead of um, my son came back to life too and that turned out not so good, so be careful, guys.

I love these guys with Jody. I really do. She should have been their mom.
caranfindel: (Default)




This fic has everything…

MoC Dean!
Angsty Sam
Sam thinking about Dean murdering him!
A fix-it for that ridiculous Halloween story!

Go read it…
subject and object
caranfindel: (Default)

7FDF5A75-0028-40E7-9E84-89117B202447.png
(Sorry, but that name just bothers me. It's so un-Dean.)

In no particular order:


  • Ozzy

  • Zeppelin

  • Axel

  • Rufus

  • Harley

  • Killer

  • Rocky

  • Hetfield

  • Halen

  • Lemmy

What do you think? Is it, perhaps, time for a poll?

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caranfindel: (Default)
Lebanon, Kansas
Six Months Ago


Having watched 15.20 (on its six month anniversary!) yesterday, followed immediately by 1.01, I have some thoughts.
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caranfindel: (Default)
Today TNT is showing “Carry On,” followed immediately by the Pilot. I wonder if my heart can take it.

Summergen!

May. 11th, 2021 12:43 pm
caranfindel: (Default)
I'm celebrating the delightful and talented [livejournal.com profile] kalliel's birthday by signing up for Summergen. Come join me!




Sign-ups May 1 – May 19 - Click the banner for details!
caranfindel: (Default)
Genre: Wincest (non-explicit)
Length: About 1300 words
Rating: Hard PG or light R
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Synopsis: My first (and probably only) Wincest. No actual sex, just post-coital angst. The morning after the first time. Dean's POV and then Sam's POV.
Notes: No, I am no abandoning my gen status. But this plot bunny burrowed into my brain and refused to go away until I wrote it out. Flowers in the Attic is a cheesy gothic novel featuring four children who are locked in an attic by their scheming mother who hopes to hide their existence; the oldest son and daughter eventually begin an incestuous relationship. The title is from "The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash, which I never heard until recently but am now obsessed with.

. . .

Part 1: Dean

It doesn't start with romance or lust. It doesn't start with that little flash of bare skin visible above his jeans when he raises his arms (it makes you crazy and you don't know why; you see him shirtless all the time but for some reason that little strip of skin that isn't meant to be showing just brings you to your knees). It doesn't start with you staring at that perfectly sculpted spot at the base of his throat and finally setting your mouth to it and marking him up the way you've dreamt about for years (you've bruised him when you were sparring, and you've battered him in anger, but you've never left a mark for the purpose of saying hands off, he's mine and oh, what you would do just for the chance). It doesn't start with you too drunk to keep holding it all in and Sam too drunk to say no (you would never, you would never).

It starts with terror. Pure balls-to-the-wall terror that you're about to lose him. A horribly fucked-up hunt where you almost die, but more importantly, you almost watch Sam die, and you stumble into your motel room, both still out of breath, still not quite sure what happened out there, and you're checking him for injuries and every breath is a silent mantra, I almost lost you, I almost lost you, and nothing is enough, you want to crawl under his skin, you want to open him up and cradle his heart in your hands to make sure it's still beating, you're holding him tighter and tighter and he's clutching you just as tight, looking into your soul with those big wet eyes and saying "Dean, Dean," like your name itself is a prayer, a request. A plea. Whatever he is pleading for, you will give it to him. And it turns out the only thing he wants is all of you.

Which is convenient. Because the only thing you want is all of him.

. . .

But then comes After, and you have to face what you've done.

When you wake up (his arm is still flung over you, it's so wrong, it's so wrong), you quietly crawl out of bed and hurry into the shower. There is no water hot enough to scrub you clean, no soap strong enough to wash away your sins (watch out for your brother, it's your most important job). When you give up and turn off the water, you realize you didn't bring any clothes to change into, and you sure as hell weren't wearing any when you fled into the bathroom. There's nothing you can do but wrap a towel around your waist and hope he's still asleep.

He's not. He's sitting up in the bed you shared. His hair is a tousled mess, a silky brown cloud, and your fingers twitch with the craving to be tangled in it again. He doesn't look disgusted, or repulsed. He looks… hopeful. Like he hasn't caught on yet that you are a monster.

(He will be the death of you.)

(He is your reason for living.)

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caranfindel: (Default)
What's this, you're asking... season 16? Well, some folks have formed a group called Frontierland Productions and plotted out a 16th season of Supernatural, taking place in the years (yes, YEARS) between 15.19 and 15.20. When I read the most recent episode, "Take the Long Way Home," I expressed my love and writer [livejournal.com profile] ameliacareful suggested I recap it like a filmed episode. And then [livejournal.com profile] quickreaver basically double-dog-dared me, so here it is. A retelling of someone's fic. Will anybody care? Let's find out! But go read the fic first. Seriously, it's amazing.

And remember, any snark is written with the utmost love and respect...


THEN: Chuck. Jack. Sam and Dean are the subjects of a podcast. They went to Vegas and killed a minotaur. Same shit, different day, right?

NOW: We see the Winchesters in the Impala, staking out an apartment complex. Apparently they're waiting for a witch who is magicking up a career as a fashion designer, despite a lack of talent so appalling that even Sam Winchester recognizes it. I wonder what Tofer the witch would think about Sam's orange jacket? (I'm quite sure Tim Gunn would be disappointed, but kind.) Two women are dead, but (spoiler alert) we never find out if Tofer is killing his competition, or if his ugly-ass clothes are killing his models.

A cute little purple car shows up and the guys follow Tofer inside, using the building keys they stole earlier. Oh, wait, this guy's full name is Christopher Listofler? That's. Um. Unfortunate. Okay. Moving on. The door opens on its own before they have a chance to break in. Tofer is sitting there in his living room with a lit candle, for that nice witchy ambience. {Sidebar: I need to point out how pleased I am that Sam changed his hair a little bit after 15.19 and has long, face-framing bangs again, kind of like the back half of season 8. And no evidence of hairspray. I approve.}

Tofer immediately pegs them as Not FBI, but Sam, for some reason, is mesmerized by whatever is draped over a clothes dummy in the corner. He can't seem to look away from it. Dean is also distracted by it, but not to the same extent. Tofer gets out a spell that makes Sam hit the floor, so naturally Dean shoots him in the head. The candle sputters out but the room is brightly lit by a brilliant glowing cloud swirling near the ceiling.

Sam's eyes are open but he looks dazed and unfocused. Dean goes into full-on panic mode (nice!) and checks for a pulse. Sam suddenly comes back online with a gasp. Dean is still panicky, buzzing around Sam asking if he's okay and telling him not to move. Sam calmly touches his chest, gazes up at the glowy cloud swirling above him, and says "I think that's my soul."

Duh duh duh!!! Soulless Sam is in the house!

Title card!

{Sidebar: I also have to say I appreciate that season 16's title card is just shirtless Sam with wet hair, lying on his bed with his hands behind his head, staring sadly through the blades of his ceiling fan. It's a bold choice and I respect that.}

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caranfindel: (Default)

I felt kind of stupid for not recognizing Sam was wearing Dean's watch at the end of 15.20, even though I literally ficced that in reverse.










ExpandRead more... )
caranfindel: (Default)
Genre: Gen
Length: About 3600 words
Rating: PG
Characters: Soulless Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester
Synopsis: Soulless Sam tries to deal with his brother's feelings about, well, everything. Including his hair. Set in season 6, before "You Can't Handle the Truth."


Not the threatened Wincest, not in time for [livejournal.com profile] borgmama1of5's birthday. An idea I had a long time ago, resuscitated by Jared's Walker haircut. The title is from "You Don't Know How It Feels" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

. . .

It's a stupid case.

The manager of the county fairgrounds is a stooped, gnarled old man wearing one of those ball caps veterans wear sometimes. Gold embroidery on the dark blue hat proudly displays the name of his ship or submarine or whatever. Sam doesn't care about his ship or submarine or whatever. He doesn't care about this guy's service at all. Most days, old Blue Hat here got three meals a day and a warm, dry place to sleep in exchange for whatever he gave up. He got a pension when he was done fighting. Sam gets to scrounge for cheap food and sleep in crappy hotels when he's lucky enough to actually land someplace other than the back seat of the Impala. Sam's service to his country earned him a trip to Hell. Sam will get to stop fighting when he's dead. His only pension will be a pyre.

Sam doesn't even get to sleep any more.

(This should bother him. But the truth is, it doesn't.)

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caranfindel: (Default)
Because I started writing Wincest in the shower this morning.

I’ve never really been into it. At first I avoided it, and then I’d read it if the rest of the story was really good. And that’s where I am now. I don’t seek it out, but I don’t walk away from a good fic just because of Wincest.

And now this plot bunny has burrowed into my brain and it won’t leave. So I guess I write Wincest now.

Don’t worry, it’s not explicit. It’s not about the sex. Because I’m writing it, so obviously it’s about the postcoital angst.

(Why does my phone autocorrect for Wincest and Winchestery but not postcoital?)

(Like I don’t know why...)
caranfindel: (Default)
Take these broken wings and learn to fly

Genre: Het, I guess? Gencest? Doesn't conflict with Wincest
Length: About 2300 words
Rating: PG
Characters: Sam Winchester and family
Synopsis: Sam's life after 15.20, from his wife's POV

Julia has been widowed (God, what an awful word, widowed) for three years when she meets Sam. It's a work-based friendship at first. She's kind of lonely and sad, he's kind of lonely and sad, and they gravitate toward each other. And then one evening they're at a bar, the last ones left from an after-work happy hour, both of them drinking more than they should, and she thinks he's kind and thoughtful and smart and he may be 10 years older than me but he's still hot as hell and I enjoy being with him and I look forward to seeing him and maybe I should just… and she kisses him. He's shocked; shocked enough to confirm that he wasn't just hanging around hoping to make it out of the friendzone. And then he's holding her face in his hands and he's kissing her too.

It's good. They're good together. It's not the earth-shattering, all-encompassing romance she had with Shaun. Julia knows she'll never have anything like that again. Most people don't even get one soulmate in their lives; no one gets two. And she knows Sam doesn't have that same desperate love that Shaun had for her; she knows she'll never have his whole heart. (She knows the woman he intended to marry was killed in a fire, she knows another woman he loved went back to her ex. She doesn't know which of these women still owns that last piece of Sam's heart.) But she loves Sam, and he loves her, and they get married.


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caranfindel: (Default)
I'm sure I will have more thoughts later, but today these things are on my mind.

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caranfindel: (Default)
Before we get started, friends, I want to tell you two things.

1. When I got home late from work Thursday, The Husband and I had this conversation:

You look beat. Going to bed early tonight?

Do you have any idea what tonight is?

...

Oh, God. Do you have alcohol?

Yes I do.


2. When I got in the car Friday morning, Pandora immediately started playing “Carry On Wayward Son.”

So, Thursday night, I sat down with a glass of whiskey and waited for the end of the world.

ExpandRead more... )

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