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Genre: Gen, hurt Sam, MoC Dean
Length: About 2000 words
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel
Synopsis: Written for the following anonymous prompt in the May 2020 [livejournal.com profile] ohsam Sam Winchester Prompt-a-thon: Sam: “Please, Dean… Please, just… Just hit me.” Somewhere, recently, I remarked that I may as well have a separate Hurt!Sam tag for fics where Dean is the one who hurts him. So. Here's another one. This probably isn’t what you had in mind, Nonny, and I kind of hate posting it as a fill for this prompt because it became so Dean-centric. And honestly, even I think it’s a bit much. But here you go. Pure whump without plot, hurt without comfort. Takes place during the end of season 10, when the Mark of Cain is ramping up Dean’s violent tendencies. The title is from “With or Without You” by U2.

+++


Sam has been standing in Dean’s doorway for five minutes. Dean has been ignoring him for five minutes. He’s aware Sam is there, of course. Hyperaware. The Mark on his arm is like an extra set of eyes and ears, an enhanced version of his consciousness of Sam’s location that normally only kicks in when he’s in full-on hunting mode. But nothing is normal now. The Mark wants to know where Sam is at all times. Dean does not know why the Mark cares so much. He does not question it. He upends the whiskey bottle with a trembling hand, drains the last of it, and does not ask Sam what he wants.

“Talk to me,” Sam finally says. Soft. Tentative. “Tell me what’s going on.”

The thing is, there are things Dean can't tell his brother.

He cannot tell Sam that when he looks at him like that, with the puppy dog eyes full of sympathy and concern and a bit of fear, Dean cannot tell him he has a vivid sense memory of putting his hands on the sides of that face and pressing his thumbs into those sad eyes, pushing until he feels the pop, rendering Sam incapable of giving him that look. He cannot tell him Alastair used to bring him boys who looked like Sam, boys he’d made to look like Sam, and laugh with glee when that was the first thing Dean did to them, every time. No, he cannot tell him that.

What he can say is “Sam, you need to not be here.”

“Where else do I need to be?”

Dean runs one hand down his face. The other clenches into a fist. “Just not here, okay? You don’t know what’s going on.”

“I do, Dean. I know more than you think.” Sam steps closer, still tentative. He’s not quite within Dean’s reach. The Mark is very aware of the distance. “I know that whatever the Mark is doing to you, it builds up. I see the shaking, and the drinking. I know that after a hunt, after you kill something, after you… after you hurt something, you’re better for a while. And I know… I know you shouldn’t be hunting right now. Not the way you are right now.”

Something hot flares up behind Dean’s eyes at that, because hunting is the only thing that helps the way he is right now, and Sam knows that, and here he is saying don’t. The Mark throbs its angry assent.

“So I was thinking,” Sam continues. “If you need to hit something, if that’s what helps. Hit me.”

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caranfindel: (Default)
dreams

But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be
Genre: Gen, hurt Sam
Length: About 3000 words
Rating: PG-13 for language
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Castiel
Synopsis: This takes place immediately after 10.18, "Book of the Damned," where the Styne family attacks the Winchesters and Charlie, and Sam stashes the Book of the Damned instead of burning it. Let's pretend that Sam was more seriously injured in the fight with the Stynes than anyone realized.
Notes: The theme of the 2018 [livejournal.com profile] ohsam birthday meme was Hurt vs. Comfort, in which we were invited to respond to a prompt and write either about the hurt, or the comfort. An anonymous poster made this request: "Gen. Dean hugs Sam hard to hold him in place while someone cauterizes the wound in Sam's back." I started to write it, realized I'd gone with stitches instead of cauterizing, got frustrated, and gave up. But now I'm back. (Oh, and since we were supposed to choose between angst or schmoop, guess which one I chose. Go on, guess.) And yes, the title is from "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who, which was featured in 10.18.

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caranfindel: (Default)
One of you wonderful people wrote some Sam/Rowena smut. It took place in S10 but I don't know if it was written during S10 or later. I do know it involved Sam having Rowena in chains in the Brewery of Doom. I forgot to bookmark it and it's killing me. It was written by someone I follow and hopefully someone who follows me as well. If anyone remembers this fic, please give a shout!

Found in the comments, thanks to the ever lovely [livejournal.com profile] frozen_delight!
caranfindel: (Default)
Very very mildly spoilery for 11.12:


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Also, for those of you in the US, TNT is having a season 10 marathon today (counterprogramming against the Super Bowl, one can only assume). But they're skipping Soul Survivor. And they're also skipping that vampire sister episode, which is fine, but they're showing 10.01, 10.02, and then 10.05 (Fan Fiction), and why? Of all the episodes to skip from S10, how could you pick Soul Survivor?


I mean, really




how in the hell




could you




skip this one?




Now I'm going to have hammers on the brain again for a long, long time. God help us all.

caranfindel: (Default)
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Length: About 8600 words
Rating: Gen, R for language and maybe other things
Warnings: Author chooses not to warn because she considers them spoilery; read at your own risk
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel
Spoilers: Through The Executioner's Song
Synopsis: Dean deals with the implications of Cain's prophecy. Fills the non-linearity square on my Bingo card for [livejournal.com profile] spnspiration


A/N: I started writing this after Dean killed Cain, and there was a lot we didn't know about the Mark. I decided not to post it back then because, as the charming and astute [livejournal.com profile] frozen_delight pointed out, everything I thought I knew about the Mark was wrong. ;-) And after the season finale I thought about reworking it to make it canon-compliant and decided I liked it better the way it was. So, consider this an AU. And forget everything you know about the Mark of Cain except for these things: it turns you into a demon if you're killed, it eventually turns you into a demon even if you're not killed, and it makes it difficult or impossible to kill you.


Thanks to my lovely betas [livejournal.com profile] manzanita_crow and [livejournal.com profile] frozen_delight. I messed with it after they read it, so all errors are mine. The title is from "Take Me To Church" by Hozier.




before


The thing is, Dean's been on this side of a prophecy before. He is, after all, the Righteous Man. The Michael Sword. He knows how useless it is to fight it. Sure, he can spout a lot of brave talk about Team Free Will, but he knows the truth: you try to buck destiny, and you find that instead of killing your brother, you're setting up the dominos that eventually knock him into the Pit as Lucifer's eternal meat suit, and how is that a win? One way or another, destiny has its way with you and there's not a single fucking thing you can do about it, at least in Dean's experience. So he knows what to expect here. And it takes several months, but Cain's prediction eventually comes to fruition, and Crowley is the first domino to fall.


... )

caranfindel: (Default)
This started as a challenge from the lovely [livejournal.com profile] kalliel to write tags for each episode of season 10. I decided to write a 100-word drabble for each episode in season 10 (plus a bonus prologue for the end of season 9.) And then I signed up for the [livejournal.com profile] spnspiration bingo challenge, and I ended up with pointillism ("a technique of painting in which small dots are applied in a pattern to form an image") on my bingo card. And I thought that square would forever remain open, given that I'm not actually a visual artist. But then I thought, huh. Drabbles. The small dots of fanfiction. Could a series of dotlike drabbles form an image of an entire season?


Let's find out!
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caranfindel: (Default)
Part of my challenge to write a 100-word drabble for each episode in season 10. I missed a couple, so I'm catching up on them now. I know, nobody cares any more, but I need to finish this challenge.


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caranfindel: (Default)
This isn't the most watchable episode poll - I think we need to digest a while before we're ready for that - but there are so many other questions to ask!

Take the poll )
caranfindel: (Default)
Part of my continuing challenge to write a 100-word drabble for each episode in season 10. This is for 10.23, Brother's Keeper.


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caranfindel: (Default)
As I sit down to write this, there are 8 hours until I hear Carry On Wayward Son and I'm kind of distracted.


completely unspoiled speculation ahead! )

10.22 Poll

May. 15th, 2015 05:03 pm
caranfindel: (Default)
The penultimate episode poll of season 10!

Take the poll )
caranfindel: (Default)
Part of my personal challenge to write a 100-word drabble for each episode. This is the one for 10.22, The Prisoner.


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caranfindel: (Default)
As often happens, there were a few WTF moments in this episode. But the OMG moments so completely outweighed them that I'm going to handwave anything that seemed off. Just giving you fair warning.


I )

caranfindel: (Default)
Part of my personal challenge to write a 100-word drabble for each episode; this one is for Dark Dynasty.


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