The Dean who accepts blame for things that couldn’t possibly be his fault, but shrugs off responsibility for things he actually did.
I think this is actually at the root of why Dean is so unforgiving toward Sam. He's had 'you are responsible for Sam' as his foundation for so long, that I think somewhere in there, he thinks Sam's mistakes are his own, and so forgiving them would constitute forgiving himself. Which he's not good at, to say the least.
That's been the baseline of Dean's existence since he was a kid -- but at the same time, he didn't really get to be a kid, and so he never really got to grow out of it. Whereas Sam, being the youngest and with a slightly different set of expectations placed on him -- plus a bit more time on his own -- did, at least a little more, and I think that really informs what we're seeing in canon now, where they both have such different ideas of what 'the right thing' is.
(Actually, I think 17-year-old Sam would have been angry before he was sad. BUT STILL. AT SOME POINT HE LOOKED THIS CRUSHED, BUT 10 YEARS YOUNGER.)
Ouch. :( Though in some ways, I think it's even sadder that young Sam who used to get angry at John so easily is now too weary to stay up and fight with Dean.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2014-02-21 10:17 am (UTC)I think this is actually at the root of why Dean is so unforgiving toward Sam. He's had 'you are responsible for Sam' as his foundation for so long, that I think somewhere in there, he thinks Sam's mistakes are his own, and so forgiving them would constitute forgiving himself. Which he's not good at, to say the least.
That's been the baseline of Dean's existence since he was a kid -- but at the same time, he didn't really get to be a kid, and so he never really got to grow out of it. Whereas Sam, being the youngest and with a slightly different set of expectations placed on him -- plus a bit more time on his own -- did, at least a little more, and I think that really informs what we're seeing in canon now, where they both have such different ideas of what 'the right thing' is.
(Actually, I think 17-year-old Sam would have been angry before he was sad. BUT STILL. AT SOME POINT HE LOOKED THIS CRUSHED, BUT 10 YEARS YOUNGER.)
Ouch. :( Though in some ways, I think it's even sadder that young Sam who used to get angry at John so easily is now too weary to stay up and fight with Dean.