caranfindel

This started as a challenge from the lovely

kalliel to write tags for each episode of season 10. I decided to write a 100-word drabble for each episode in season 10 (plus a bonus prologue for the end of season 9.) And then I signed up for the

spnspiration bingo challenge, and I ended up with pointillism ("a technique of painting in which small dots are applied in a pattern to form an image") on my bingo card. And I thought that square would forever remain open, given that I'm not actually a visual artist. But then I thought, huh. Drabbles. The small dots of fanfiction. Could a series of dotlike drabbles form an image of an entire season?

Let's find out!

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Prologue: 9.23 - Do You Believe in Miracles

It's different this time.

There's no sink, no soap, no clean towels. Sam cleans Dean's face with a flask of holy water and his own shirttail. There are no sheets to wrap him in. Sam covers him with his coat in the back seat of the Impala. There's no shellshocked, shattered family of victims whose nightmare happened to intersect with Sam's. No Bobby. Just Sam and his brother and the car and the long, dark drive home.

There's no need for a grave. Dean won't be gone that long; Sam will see to it.

Everything will be different this time.

///

10.01 - Black

He's disappointed that Dean insists on taking the Impala. Confused. Troubled. It's a piece of his old life. A connection to his brother. A symbol of everything that needs to be left behind.

"You know we don't need this. Leave it for Moose."

Dean scowls. "Last time I left it with Sam, he let a dog ride in it."

Oh?

"Do tell," Crowley purrs.

Dean does. He tells him about the dog, and the girl, and the year, but the real story isn't in the actual words. It's behind, between the words.

Crowley smiles, files it away for future use.

///

10.02 - Reichenbach

Thirteen year old Cole watches a monster in his house, and a face is burned onto his brain.

Sixteen year old Cole watches the news, and a name is attached to the monster's face.

Eighteen year old Cole watches the news and is told the monster is dead, but he knows it's not true; nothing that evil could die that easy.

S-one year old Cole watches the news and is told the monster is dead, again, and he's not sure whether to believe God would take his vengeance away from him.

Twenty-four year old Cole learns the truth about monsters.

///

10.03 - Soul Survivor

It's an intimate business, killing someone with a knife. It's hard to do without touching them, holding them down. Dean Winchester was good with knives, with any type of blade. Only one Blade will do now, and it was stolen from him. It's not in this drawer.

A hammer is mayhem. A hammer is used at arm's length. A hammer is indiscriminate. A hammer is what you use when you'd happily break every bone in a person's body, even if it didn't kill him. Dean Winchester would never use a hammer for this.

And that's why he picks the hammer.

///

10.04 - Paper Moon

"Tasha's in too deep," Dean says. "You don't ever come back from that. Not ever." His face reveals his fear; who he thinks is really in too deep, who he really doesn't think can ever come back.

No, that's not true. You will come back. I'll bring you back. I'll drag you back kicking and screaming and clawing and fighting me every step of the way, but I will bring you back. You're my brother, and I'm here to take you home. And you don't have to thank me, because this is what we are. This is what we do.

///

10.05 - Fan Fiction

You said "I don't need a symbol to remind me of how I feel about my brother."

But that's not what it is, Dean. It's always been a symbol of how your brother feels about you. And sometimes you do need that reminder. Sometimes you forget. Sometimes you don't trust him. Sometimes you don't have faith in his ability. And sometimes you refuse to accept his trust and faith and love and respect because you don't think you deserve them.

So keep it in your car, where you'll always see it, and always remember. Don't lose this one.

Love, Chuck

///

10.06 - Ask Jeeves

(Travelin' man, love when I can...)

Let me have this, Sammy, please.

I know I scared you back there. I scared me too. And I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to be normal. I'm trying to hunt because something needs to be hunted, not because I need to kill. I'm trying to be your brother and not, well. Whatever.

(Turn loose my hand cause I'm going)

But I shouldn't have to try.

We both know where this is going. We know what's going to happen to me. Just please, tonight, let me pretend it's not.

(But sooner or later I'm going)

///

10.07 - Girls, Girls, Girls

Save people. Lester's not the only example of how he failed there.

Hunt things. Don't become one of them, obviously.

Watch out for Sammy. There's a hole in the wall of the bunker demonstrating how badly he fucked that one up.

So what's left of these lines Dean isn't supposed to cross? No cash for ass? No dogs in the Impala? That's not exactly a record to be proud of.

And this is why he'll be killed not by teeth or claws, but by a blade or gun. Why he'll go down like a monster. Because he crossed them all.

///

10.08 - Hibbing 911

She should be terrified, but honestly, she’s kind of excited. Yes, it turns out the world is a lot bigger and darker than she thought it was. But finding out that there’s more out there than drunk teens and stolen cars and her douche of an ex? A world of vampires and machetes and hot guys with fake names and Jody as her mentor? Yeah, it’s exciting.

Speaking of the hot guys… Sam (if that’s his real name) kind of looks like he discovered something big and dark too. And he’s not excited. Strange. Surely he already knew about vampires.

///

10.09 - The Things We Left Behind

Dean meant it when he told Cas letting stuff go is “the opposite of what I do.” He’s spent his entire life watching everyone and everything go, and trying desperately to stop it, even at the cost of his own soul.

But there’s one thing he’s always been able to let go of. And now he’s kneeling in a blood spattered room, surrounded by bodies, and Sam’s grabbing his face and begging him to say something that makes it all not quite so fucking awful, and he hopes Cas agrees that it’s time for Dean to let go of Dean.

///

10.10 - The Hunter Games

Maybe it’s the Mark of Cain that makes him want to beat Metatron into a bloody pulp and slice off his taunting tongue. Maybe the Mark is what inspires him to carve a glowing chasm into the angel for each of his sins; sins against Dean, against Cas, against Sam, against Kevin. Maybe the Mark is why he can’t stop, and why he’s going to enjoy every minute of it.

Or maybe Sam has a point. Maybe the Mark isn’t the one craving the violence. Maybe it’s just… Dean.

Maybe there is a good reason he was Alastair’s star pupil.

///

10.11 - There's No Place Like Home

Charlie was smart to run. But the answer isn’t in any book in Italy. It isn’t in eggwhite omelets and eight hours of sleep and “minding your quiet.”

The answer is in your hands. The answer is Charlie’s blood on your fists, your little sister pounded into the ground, the crack of breaking bone. The answer is your twitchy hands, your own personal demonic DTs, temporarily sated by violence, by her blood.

Is the next answer going to be your little brother? Your angel? An innocent bystander?

What was the question again?

Does it even matter any more?

Run, Charlie.

///

10.12 - About A Boy

Hansel moves menacingly toward Sam and for a heartbeat Dean thinks, do it. Turn back the clock on him too. We'll start over. Sam will go to college and there will be families and picket fences and I won't become a demon and no one will die because I fucked up.

But two kids aren't going to kill this witch, and Dean has the hex bag, and happy do-overs were never the Winchester way, so he does what he has to do. And he doesn't even bother to look at his arm until Sam asks, because he knows it's back.

///

10.13 - Halt and Catch Fire

The way he sees it, Dean has two choices. He could surrender to the Mark, fall under its spell, succumb to the violent need, become a demon again. Or he could fight it like Cain apparently has, struggle every day against its seductive anger, remaining immortal as long as he carries Cain’s brand. The end result is the same: everyone dies. Because as Cain could have told him, had he bothered to listen, immortality is a guaranteed way to lose the people you love.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Unfortunately, it's pretty literal when you’re a Winchester.

///

10.14 - The Executioner's Song

Words are as good as a knife. Cain’s words tumble through your mind as you sink the Blade into his flesh, foretelling death for the demon, then your angel, then your brother. Your words chase Crowley away, because if he’s gone, if you can’t kill him, maybe he won’t be the first domino. Sam’s words express his hope and faith, which only means he won’t defend himself against you, won’t stop you, won’t do what has to be done. Cain’s words made it clear - he couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop, and neither will you. The words cut, and everyone will bleed.

///

10.15 - The Things They Carried

The last time Sam was this close to the guy, he was tied to a chair, injured and helpless. Cole threatened Sam, tortured him, tried to make him sacrifice the brother he was trying so hard to save.

But there’s a case. People are dying. Sam realized long ago that he’s no more important than those other people. It’s more important to save their lives than it is for Sam to be comfortable. Or safe. Or happy. Or alive. He looks to Dean for confirmation, and gets it.

Cole says he can get important information, and Sam’s had stranger bedfellows.

///

10.16 - Paint it Black

Bless me father, for I have sinned.

I’ve lied and stolen and killed and blasphemed; I’ve disobeyed angels and archangels and God and my own father. But I’d do all of that again.

My real sins? I’m responsible for the deaths of good people. I tortured souls in Hell. I betrayed my brother, God, so many times. I’ve taken on the Mark of Cain and I’ll kill my best friend and my brother unless I force them to kill me first.

But this spirit doesn’t care about my real sins.

(Smile and do your goddamn job.)

“It's the women, father.”

///

10.17 - The Inside Man

He’s home free, the lie perfectly executed, but something stops him. Something says Wait. Take the snow day. Hang out with Dean and enjoy his company.

(Because God only knows if you’ll ever get another chance.)

“I don’t have to go alone.” He blurts it out without really thinking. It’s for the best that Dean declines; really it is. Abandoning his plan and hanging out with Dean won’t save him. This is something that has to be done, and the sooner the better, to guarantee future snow days.

But part of him wonders if he just missed the last one.

///

10.18 - Book of the Damned

This is different, he thinks, as he throws the decoy Book into the flames. I didn't want be saved. Dean does. It's not the same thing.

This is different, he thinks, as he reveals the Book to Rowena. My dying would have been for a good cause. Dean dying, or living with the Mark, or becoming a demon, it won't save anyone. It's not the same thing.

I can't do this alone, he thinks, as Rowena smirks and discusses her terms.

Dean will probably never understand why saving Sam was wrong, but now Sam understands why it was also right.

///

10.19 - The Werther Project

Sam’s vision dims as he bleeds, but Rowena still burns brightly beside him. “It wants more,” she tells him. “It wants it all.”

Of course it does. That’s what’s always required from Sam – everything. His body, his soul, his mind, his heart, his happiness, his life. All of it. That’s what he’s always asked to sacrifice. But if he can’t save his brother, he doesn’t need any of that anyway, so he’s more than willing to give it up. He opens his wound and pours more of himself into the greedy box, because if Dean is saved, it’s a bargain.

///

10.20 - Angel Heart

Owen’s door has been closed since the second time Jody lost him, but it’s open now as she sits on the bed, boxes at her feet, tearfully packing his childhood away.

The voice from the doorway is quiet, but it makes her jump. "You could have just told them no."

"Alex? How long have you been there?"

"Long enough,” she replies. “You shouldn’t have to clean out his room for this new girl. You could have said no. You don’t owe them anything.”

“Oh, honey.” Jody beckons Alex closer and throws an arm around her. “I owe them so much.”

///

10.22 - The Prisoner

Cain was wrong. Charlie, not Crowley, is the first domino. Her death unleashes something in him, something black and searing, something that tells his brother it should be you and means it. Something that drives him to kill all the Stynes, though he knows each death gives the Mark greater power over him. Leaving Cas alive would have been instinct once, but now it’s a decision, a struggle, a concession. And the last Styne – the nascent monster pleading for his life, shock and terror and betrayal and long hair unfurling as he fell – well, he was just a practice run.

///

10.23 - Brother's Keeper

Sammy, close your eyes.

But you can't just yet. Because it's the last time you'll ever see him. Because he's the last thing you'll ever see. Because you have to throw him a lifeline, a way back to himself. Because you have to believe it's not really going to end like this, with him alone and Marked for eternity. And you don't know yet, you will never know, whether you actually saved him, or you died trying. But he will know.

Nod your head.

Forgive him.

Watch him lift the blade that will separate you forever.

And close your eyes.

///

So, this was a fun exercise, and I plan to do it again next season, but I don't think I'm going to limit myself to 100-word drabbles again. I'll either pick some new kind of challenge, or just write a tag for each episode without limiting myself to a particular form.

My other season 10 fics include Three More Minutes, Handbook for the Newly Immortal, and Blue skies from pain.