where my mind was at is - when I have flashbacks I don't think "what does this mean as much as "ugh" or "this again" or even "crap crap this is bad timing this hasn't happened in a while why?!" - but my "why" is "what triggered this? Am I in a bad place and not paying attetion to it?" (which Sam surely is), "am I hungry/tired/lonely and not paying attention to it?", things like that - I am not generally having an existential moment, unless it's just about me being down for having to deal with flashbacks. If I prayed and then had a flashback, I might be bitter about it or find t funny, I might have some part of myself toying with the concept that it meant something - but I would not be yelling into open corridors "what does it mean?" (probably)
Sam has been having flashbacks for at lease at least two years now, more like four probably? He is familiar with them.
This was a different sort of image than his usual flashbacks, though - maybe he is concerned with the difference (again - more of an "I should think about this, less of a dramatic thing!.... )
Or maybe it's things that did not actually happen to him or that felt very different from a flashback - so that might be more of a reason....
or he is just emotionally exhausted and physically in a bad place and goes a little bit wild there, is all .... ??
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branchandroot
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Date: 2015-10-20 05:52 pm (UTC)I took it to mean "what does it mean that I'm having a Hell flashback when I asked for a sign?"
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Date: 2015-10-20 07:13 pm (UTC)where my mind was at is - when I have flashbacks I don't think "what does this mean as much as "ugh" or "this again" or even "crap crap this is bad timing this hasn't happened in a while why?!" - but my "why" is "what triggered this? Am I in a bad place and not paying attetion to it?" (which Sam surely is), "am I hungry/tired/lonely and not paying attention to it?",
things like that - I am not generally having an existential moment, unless it's just about me being down for having to deal with flashbacks. If I prayed and then had a flashback, I might be bitter about it or find t funny, I might have some part of myself toying with the concept that it meant something - but I would not be yelling into open corridors "what does it mean?" (probably)
Sam has been having flashbacks for at lease at least two years now, more like four probably? He is familiar with them.
This was a different sort of image than his usual flashbacks, though - maybe he is concerned with the difference (again - more of an "I should think about this, less of a dramatic thing!.... )
Or maybe it's things that did not actually happen to him or that felt very different from a flashback - so that might be more of a reason....
or he is just emotionally exhausted and physically in a bad place and goes a little bit wild there, is all .... ??